Dating After Divorce

Dating at 40: What you should know after divorce

Dating After Divorce
Dating After Divorce

Getting divorced at any age is a life changing event, even if you feel it’s for the best. But the good news is that divorce doesn’t carry the stigma it once did. If you’re dating back in your 40s and you hear that somebody gets divorced, it can still be sad, but it’s almost accepted as the norm and it can be an incredible time in your life. Once you’ve divorced, chances are you’ll be back in the game of dating looking for a new romance. But it’s no easy task to date after divorce at 40.

Here are a few things that it helps to learn during post-divorce dating:

Dating other divorced individuals has their ups and downs:

Chances are you’re going to meet someone who’s divorced too, and may even have children from their previous marriage. Remember how this co-mingled family gets along if you have kids too. It’s not always The Brady Bunch and it’s never guaranteed dating someone and being accepted by their kids. Be prepared for lots of drama and difficult situations which may adversely affect your relationship with this new individual. Yet remain optimistic-these waters can always be navigated and sailed smoothly

Backstory is important to somebody:

Knowing the truth of why the new person you are dating has divorced (or why they are still single, for that matter) can be a game changer. Patterns sometimes repeat themselves and if you want to build a future it helps to be mindful of someone’s past. Get to know the close friends and family of your date, and learn more about them in a polite and straightforward manner. There are no guarantees in life, but you want to try and avoid putting yourself in a position that could be worse than your previous relationship or beginning something new with someone you don’t really know.

There are always those people who like playing games:

Whoever your generation, when it comes to dating people still play games. Be aware that a lot of people, particularly after a divorce, are not looking for a monogamous relation. They might just want to play the field, and don’t want to commit. They might say one thing to you, but do another. You have to win confidence. Go in on this with your intuition.
People are often loaded with luggage:
Some people can translate their issues from their past relationship into a new one. It’s hard for some to resolve frustration and hurt from a previous relationship and they can subconsciously bring that mentality into their new relationships. For example, if their ex cheated them on, they might not be able to trust and could treat you unfairly.
Staying safe in sex is the new norm:
Since you’ve been in a monogamous relationship for a while, you may not be aware that many singles have been in multiple relationships and can therefore bear an STD. For many this is a very touchy topic, but it’s not unusual to new couples to ask each other to be checked before they become intimate.
Have you got time to go out there and date? If you have young kids, you might not have enough time to get out there and find a new love — this is where dating apps and dating sites might be useful. Being familiar with the online dating world may not be something you’re used to, or the path you’d like to take, but these dating apps are sure to become your best friend. You may have a friend who will be able to show you the ropes on online dating but be careful. Some sites and apps have some people that don’t have good intentions and may not be searching for the kind of partnership that you are. Users on dating sites are mostly sincere but like any dating situation, listening to your instincts and being cautious is key.
For a reason or reasons, you have divorced; hopefully this was the right decision. Regardless, you must now live with that decision and your life is going to be different. Don’t be afraid to get out and find this new love. You never know how it will happen, or when. And until you try, you never know how much fun that can be.

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